Date #1 – The Prediction

So I’m going on my first date tonight. Not the first date of my life, just the first one in which I intend to chronicle all adventures. What does this do for me? Provide me immense entertainment (and hopefully you also) and an ultimately false but effective “clinical detachment” as I analyze my experiences in written form. Its so mean of me… but not really. Should one relationship work out, this blog will go suddenly silent. (I’ll be busy.)

So on to the the prediction. He is tall. Good. Good start (although I’ve discovered recently this isn’t necessary). He’s very well educated – Mr. PhD in fact. He’s not particularly well written – not thrilled about that but you never know what combination of factors will ultimately work out for you. He’s older – that could be excellent as it takes men longer to mature. He probably just recently caught up to me. And he didn’t say too much else of interest! As I don’t know the fellow, I’ve notified various girlfriends of time and place of said meeting, in case he turns out to be a serial killer.

Apparently that was just background for the prediction. I predict… it will be nice, a little boring, we won’t really connect that much (I like readers and I don’t think he’s much of a reader), he won’t be that great looking, we’ll enjoy our time together as humans are supposed to do, and then I’ll go home, having to figure out plans for how to nicely get rid of him. Of course, perhaps he’ll be thinking the same! But my past doesn’t suggest that.

So, tonight – the killer or the bore. Wouldn’t it be nice to get something in between? I really don’t even know what that means. How do you be half serial killer?

Actual conclusion to this post: should all dating endeavors fail, there’s always Benedict. Now there’s a reader! I would just skip all this dating nonsense and marry him, but he doesn’t know about me yet. Small snafu in the plans.

Flirt Till You Can’t Move

That’s my new approach. I had a friend once who decided to go on 50 dates in a year. She did, and currently she’s married with 3 little ones. I don’t know that the two are connected, but her relationship bravada is something I think I’m going to emulate.

Why? I’m old. And bored. I won’t discuss the lonely. That would be too unpleasant to read.

Should there be any noteworthy stories to post, I will post them!

Should Benedict Cumberbatch realize that a fan he’s never met is really his bosom friend and kindred spirit, you’ll hear about it in the news, and this blog shall be discontinued.

Pain

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
James Baldwin

Ethics, Bonhoeffer, and Bifurcation

I’ve always found ethics to be the least interesting part of philosophy. Metaphysics – seems to be pretty foundational so it’s eternally interesting. Epistemology – how you know what you know – you just don’t get more foundational than that, so again, inherently interesting. (If something foundational changes, your entire world changes. Hence, the interesting bit.) But ethics. Ethics? I’m bored to tears. Maybe I’m just not very moral.

But real quick, let me define terms. I use “ethics” and “morality” interchangeably and the meaning is “a standard of behavior”. Now it gets interesting. Before recently, my view of these concepts was very fuzzy since no one around me ever seemed to take the time to define them, and I apparently didn’t either.

So what is my standard of behavior? My behavior has always been determined by what I feel at the moment (digestion/whimsy/a stream of consciousness which I can’t fully divine), fear (social repercussion, physical repercussion, or really repercussion of any sort), pleasure (does this need defined?), and my faith (Christian). And, until recently, I never paid a speck of attention to my own morality. I have simplistically thought of it as something shared by all humans, at a base level. Thanks C.S. Lewis. And I have been satisfied to allow many of my behaviors to be driven by my faith. After all, most faith systems are all-encompassing and all-demanding. The Christian faith certainly is. So, I’ve felt right before God by following the injunctions of the Bible and, to some extent, of Christian tradition. Beyond that my need to please my parents and other important folk of my life has been entirely motivating. My need for people to like me is probably equally motivating. And last, sometimes that second half the of the Nutella jar is simply shrieking my name through the closet door. That’s always a voice I can hear. And heed.

Bonhoeffer is a book I’ve been reading, and he has been challenging my thought. It’s been perfect taking an Ethics class at the same time as reading this. Bonhoeffer was a German scholar/pastor, born into the highest and most powerful level of society, during the rise and dominance of Hitler. He ultimately chose to actively try to kill Hitler, by joining a movement which nearly succeeded. Right before the war ended, he was killed by the Nazis for this choice. Bonhoeffer wrote a work entitled “Ethics” and he is nearly painfully thought out, superbly German and demanding, like Kant, so when he both writes “Ethics” and chooses to try to kill his own head of state, you have to take this seriously.  Bonhoeffer is very good at making controversial statements. In fact, he states at least once, that he does this intentionally. Sometimes I find it too much and ridiculous. But here is one quote I will end on.

“Those who wish even to focus on the problem of a Christian ethic are faced with an outrageous demand-from the outset they must give up, as inappropriate to this topic, the very two questions that led them to deal with the ethical problem: ‘How can I be good?’ and ‘How can I do something good?’ Instead they must ask the wholly other, completely different question: ‘What is the will of God?”

I hope to read “Ethics”, or at least a summary. In the meantime, I have been very piqued/disturbed by Bonhoeffer’s bifurcation between God and good. Not the newest problem in the world, but it’s not one I’m convinced I can accept. Does this not facilitate extreme/dangerous and completely unpredictable religious behavior?

Words I Learned from Sherlock

So I just finished “The Final Problem“, by Arthur Conan Doyle, and there were a number of words I learned or re-learned. Before stating them, let me say, it is so much fun to read these books/short stories after seeing the BBC version of Sherlock. Too. Much. Fun.

  • petrel – one who brings discord or appears at the onset of trouble
  • asperity – harshness of tone or manner.
  • coup-de-maitre – a master stroke
  • equanimity – mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, esp. in a difficult situation.
  • devolve – transfer or delegate (power) to a lower level, esp. from central government to local or regional administration.

And a quote – can’t leave without a quote from this lovely work: “Any attempt at recovering the bodies was absolutely hopeless, and there, deep down in that dreadful cauldron of swirling water and seething foam, will lie for all time the most dangerous criminal and the foremost champion of the law of their generation… him whom I shall ever regard as the best and the wisest man whom I have ever known.”

I Have an Addiction

I have an addiction and it’s to rhythm. The rhythm of words. I love to read a well-written sentence, series of sentences, essay, post. You can feel your way through it. It’s like a dance. Up. Down. Over. Through. Surprise! And back. Flow. It’s a story in and of itself, but it’s one you feel. Exist in. A milieu. The milieu of your ideas.

I haven’t thought about it enough yet, to say anything more substantive. My thoughts are in early stage form. But when they are! I shall post again.