To My Dear Dad: Why I Place Country Over Party

Dad, you and I talked the other night. You, a lifelong Republican who is still dedicated and me a lifelong Republican who ditched the party the moment Mr. Trump came down the escalator. 

There are few honors as deep as being heard. Thursday night you heard me. And, even after you listened to me for about an hour, I’ve got more to say. Do you mind? It’s just the evidence. I’m gonna provide a few links. And share my most important point, which astonishingly I didn’t previously share: the cultural impact of Mr. Trump.

So I’ll start with said cultural impact. While the abandonment of Ukraine and NATO is hard to top (especially for traditional Republicans) and while the attack on our electoral system is hard to top (for traditional Republicans, due to their love of freedom), the biggest threat from Mr. Trump is cultural. 

I used to think of the President of the United States as the lead policy guy. All that mattered was his position on this topic or that topic. Not so much his personal morality or, say, his effect on culture. I’ve since realized how deeply backwards that thinking is. I have David French to thank in part for this. Mr. French says his criteria for judging a political candidate is as follows – and the order of the items in this list matters, i.e. one trumps two and two trumps three – 1) morality 2) competency and 3) policy. He’s right. He’s dang right. In a democracy – which is code for “power sharing” – morality is essential. No morality is needed in an autocracy because no sharing is happening, only grabbing and taking; there all you need is guns, manipulation, and raw power. 

So I’ve slowly realized The President is not the lead policy guy. Instead he is our lead culture shaper (and only secondarily is he the lead policy guy). This is why people get so up in arms about who’s President. Unconsciously or semi-consciously we all know this. Cultural power – the ability to shape our fundamental values and preferences and beliefs, our very view of the world! – is the greatest power. This includes the power to normalize what has never been normal before. It is the power to shape us. 

This is ever more true with someone as charismatic as Mr. Trump. His personality is power. But – and this is a very big “but” – Mr. Trump is amoral. (I’m not even going to try to defend this point. I hope it is obvious to everyone.) Amorality is the natural state of a narcissist. Amorality obliterates morality. An amoral person is one who says morality doesn’t matter but instead power does. Evidence: Mr. Trump telling family and friends before the results of the 2020 election that it doesn’t matter if he lost or won, he still has to fight like hell. This proves he has no dedication to our electoral system and only has dedication to his own interests. To put it another way, what his fellow citizens want, demonstrated by their votes, is worthless compared to what he wants. In other words, power trumps morality. And, because he offers no defense for this kind of thinking, that is why I call him amoral. He doesn’t even try to be moral. He simply does what he wants. Further evidence: Paul Ryan, former Republican Speaker of the House describes him as an Authoritarian Narcissist (and not a political conservative)

And yet further evidence, this from J.D. Vance himself. Within the last few years, Mr. Vance referred to Mr. Trump as “America’s Hitler”. While I try to be incredibly careful about ever using the “bomb” of calling someone “Hitler”, we get Mr. Vance’s point: Mr. Trump is no democrat (or Republican). Instead, he is Authoritarian. I appreciate Mr. Vance’s candor and am amazed at the transition that has occurred since his statement. Like the rest of the Republican party, he has sold his soul. 

As Liz Cheney points out, a political conservative is someone who first, foremost, last, and finally defends the constitution. But Mr. Trump has called for the termination of our constitution. No matter how much he may have sincerely believed he won the 2020 election (and he didn’t sincerely believe that – he told Mike Pence “you’re too honest”), a human deserving of the Presidency and of calling himself a political conservative wouldn’t even be able to dream of terminating the constitution, let alone say it. Yet he had no trouble making this politically horrific statement. He’s no political conservative. 

Mr. Trump has suggested our nation’s highest military leader should be executed. What? What?! What universe am I living in? Russia? Maybe we all moved to Russia and I just found out. Nobody should be executed until they’ve been tried and found guilty! We have a criminal justice system! Why hasn’t Mr. Trump submitted evidence so that General Mark Milley can appropriately be tried in court? Mr. Trump demonstrates no faith in or joy over our system; instead he ignores it, does what he wants, sets an example of disregarding our system, and brings darkness on us all. Wouldn’t a good leader… praise our nation’s highest military leader? Why is he using violent language at all?! Execution?! As the most visible person in our nation, people watch him and he has been modeling violence for a long (and unacceptable) time. 

So, where is this going? What’s it matter if the President’s role is felt most supremely in its cultural effect? Mr. Trump is sick. Fundamentally sick, amoral, underdeveloped, authoritarian, not politically conservative (refer to Paul Ryan and J.D. Vance), and not American (refer to Mr. Trump’s words about fighting like hell if he lost an election and J.D. Vance). Here’s the deal: sicknesses spread. Exhibit A: Mark Robbinson. Exhibit B: Kari Lake. Exhibit C: Marjorie Taylor Greene. Any democratic party would be embarrassed to have these people in their party, and yet the Republicans have attracted all of these people. Exhibit D and the Most Important Exhibit: Republican leadership at the federal level. What happens when they are asked: Did Mr. Trump lose the 2020 election? They repeatedly refuse to answer the question. You know what? If Mr. Trump fraudulently lost the election, meaning he actually won but significant fraud occurred, then every Republican answering this question should pounce on the question with a “no” followed by a “let me tell you why”. Why don’t they do that? There is no one who should want this question more than they! If they know of a crime so serious, there is nothing more important than airing that knowledge! Tell us! You are being asked! Just tell us! The fact is Mr. Trump fairly lost that election – which he has stated – so the only explanation for these Republican leaders refusals to say “yes he lost” or “no and here’s why” is that Mr. Trump’s sickness has corrupted the Republican party so badly that its leaders feel the need to lie for Mr. Trump. Sick deference to a sick leader. 

But even more sinister than corrupting a major political party is the effects on the American people. Only once in recent memory did American citizens attack the capital. I am unable to  believe those people would have attacked if Mr. Trump had not said “if you don’t fight like hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore”. In fact, we know this was their reasoning because, in court case after court case, they have said so; they were fighting at the capital because the election was stolen from Mr. Trump. And Mr. Trump fully validates their view: he has said the people fighting at the capital were doing so because they believed the election had been stolen from him. Why did they believe that? Mr. Trump was the only leading politician making this claim. His sickness is spreading. “Just lie and you can create reality” appears to be his assumption. This is narcissism. This is authoritarianism. This is reality by fiat. This is sickness, spreading. 

Asians and Africans (and others) are “poisoning the blood of America”. This is the sickest phrase I’ve heard from any politician in living memory. I had defended Mr. Trump against charges of racism before he said this. But this statement, which he has made zero apology for, is indefensible. And it is sick. And his sickness is spreading. In Florida, there are pictures of citizens waving Trump flags directly next to their Nazi swastika flags. You want to know which party doesn’t have a single one of its flags waving next to Nazy flags? The Democratic party! Why? Harris has never made an overtly racist statement. In terms of the “culture war” (i.e. our values), Harris is an angel and Trump is a demon. 

The only reason that “pussey” is now part of the national conversation is that Mr. Trump bragged that he could do whatever he wanted to women such as grab their “pussey”. Do I need to say anything more? Is this not horrific enough? We now have to explain this word to children, and Mr. Trump’s behavior surely emboldens people who have not yet been able to or chosen to appropriately manage their sexuality. Here are just two testimonials from the twenty six women who have accused him of sexual assault. Given he has bragged about his ability to assault women, we have cause for believing that most or all of these twenty six women are telling the truth. 

I will be your protector”. Why does he think this statement to women is believable? 

When I look at Mr. Trump, I see a man who is so narcissistic that the insult of telling me an overt lie – one which can be disproven in under five minutes – doesn’t register as a bad idea in his head. It’s a horrible idea! If he wants my trust, he can not insult me to my face! But, he has, repeatedly. One example is the size of the crowd at his inauguration speech. There were pictures! Why, oh why, did he think we would believe his words over pictures! Not only are these overt lies insulting, but they prove he thinks we’re stupid. He did the same thing recently with Kamala’s crowd size when she got off a plane. (He’s really got a thing with crowd sizes. Maybe someone should give him some virtual reality goggles filled with adoring crowds and he’ll happily wander off and leave us alone forever?) There were hundreds of people there, cheering. They had their phones out. (So guess how many photos from a wide number of sources were available to prove the crowd size?) Yet Mr. Trump goes on to sincerely say that that crowd was AI generated. If there was only one photo of the group this could be possible. But there were hundreds! He insults us and assumes we are stupid. Only narcissism can produce this sort of deranged behavior. 

The group of people he lies to the most are his own followers. I understand him to be an abused man, so I have some compassion. One of his biographers describes Mr. Trump’s father as a “monster”. Abused people frequently go on to abuse others. As a cultural leader, Mr. Trump is doing exactly that.  

During Mr. Trump’s Porn Actress Election Interference court case, the clerk of that court received the equivalent of two hundred and seventy five pages of threats. Why? Mr. Trump hopped on social media, shared this clerk’s name, said (I believe) some damning, untrue things, and her life was turned upside down. She was receiving emails, phone calls, etc filled with threats. What kind of man inspires threats?! What kind of man picks on the weakest member of a group (the clerk! – why didn’t he pick the judge?!). A weak man. And look what he’s inspired in his followers: threats, hatred, words of violence. That clerk’s life was torn apart for a while because America’s greatest leader, well, wasn’t very great. He’s spreading his sickness. A good leader would say “let’s do this court case, so I can prove my innocence to everyone” and would not choose to bully the weakest (and possibly most innocent) person in the room. My point is his sickness inspired 275 pages of sickness. It’s spreading. 

People in my own country now believe an election was stolen when the highest, most knowledgeable person in our country who was specifically hired to oversee the election and who was appointed by Republicans, CISA director Christopher Krebs, said this was the “most secure and fair election in history”. He made this official statement in conjunction with a hoard of other American government agencies (refer to previous link). He lost his job over this. He knew he was going to. He did it anyway. People in my own country now believe an election was stolen – and that probably the next will be too! – despite 60 courts unanimously saying that no evidence was provided to justify the claim that the election was stolen. So Mr. Trump’s sickness has spread to the country in a way in which the sickness will keep on metastasizing: our people now doubt our very courts! Our people now doubt our very elections! Doubting the things that give you your freedoms means beginning to lose your freedoms. This sickness, manifesting in this way, undermines our very democracy. 

And I kinda like democracy. 

Almost the most damning thing I can say about this man is that the people who know him best have publicly stated “don’t vote for him”. These are our nation’s highest leaders who worked directly with Mr. Trump; in other words, no one would know better than they. Some are his aids. Mr. Trump’s right-hand men who have publicly stated they do not endorse Mr. Trump for President include two Defense Secretaries, a National Security Advisor, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (the United State’s highest ranking military officer), oh, and you know, his former VP Mike Pence who almost got killed. Does this seem normal? Or even ok? Also his longest-serving Chief of Staff, who refuses to officially endorse any candidate, says Mr. Trump is a fascist. Look, if I went to a new job, and they interviewed my former colleagues – the ones who directly worked with me – and nearly all of them said “she’s terrible”, you think I’d get the job? Then why are we considering this for the most important job on the planet?!

What has become even more sinister is his recent, repeated claims that the “enemy within” is greater than the enemy without. Let’s be clear. After nearly a decade of him filling the American people’s hearts with fear and horror about the “murderers and rapists” coming across the border, he now says the “enemy within” is worse than that?! There is something worse than the worst thing he has ever talked about? Yes. And he names who they are: the political left. He names Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi and many others and will use the United States military against them as needed. If this is not Authoritarianism, I don’t know what is. This is also manipulation: I scare the living daylights out of you, then I tell you “only I can rescue you”. This is gaslighting. First scary immigrants, now the scary left. Let’s be very clear about one thing: Mr. Trump was the left for eight years! He was a registered Democrat until 2009. Does he really have a problem with the left? Or is he simply an Authoritarian who wants to jail anyone who disagrees with him? He has talked repeatedly of wanting to silence talk show hosts. Can I just say that’s petty? Why does he care about folks with little to no real power? Although not being able to handle criticism is a common trait of Authoritarians. (Finally, I should mention he always conveniently leaves out that crime is lower among immigrants than it is among our citizens. But it’s hard to scare folks with that truth.)

He has called for a military tribunal for Liz Cheney! All I have to say is if she gets jailed I want to be jailed too. She is a hero who has sacrificed her career to fight the corruption within the Republican Party. We don’t jail folks without going through a court case first! And before that you must have evidence! Liz Cheney is fully within her rights as an American citizen to voice her views. Mr. Trump doesn’t seem to know that, or more likely he doesn’t care. 

Mr. Trump has suggested our nation’s leading military general should be executed and has repeatedly called for prosecution of his political opponents including using the military against them. THIS is authoritarianism. And even if he is not re-elected, or if he is re-elected and he never gets to realize his darker dreams, his calls for violence (execution, death) and using the military against the American people (more violence) must surely affect the American people. His sickness will continue to spread; he is normalizing violence. 

Mr. Trump’s cultural influence is my greatest concern. He has a dark view of reality, is convinced everyone cheats all the time, in response he feels justified to cheat all the time, believes everything is rigged, its dog-eat-dog, has a dislike for democracy, and an unending love for himself. Evidence of his self-love: 1) manipulating a foreign power, Ukraine, to help him get reelected (this triggered his first impeachment) and 2) getting Republicans to vote down a carefully crafted bi-partisan Border bill heavily championed by Mitch McConnel which would have done what he has said he wanted for years. But Mr. Biden was President at the time so Biden would have gotten the credit! It appears Mr. Trump cares more for himself than he does the American people he “serves”.

By virtue of who he is, he will call more people into political power who are like himself and he will continue corrupting the Republican party. Liz Cheney here speaks from her global experience about how quickly a democracy can devolve. My greatest long-term fear is that he will return to power, will have some success, and the Democratic party in its frustration will begin to think that it must fight fire with fire, i.e. it must become corrupt in order to successfully compete with the corrupt Republican party. He is not only making both the Republican party darker (and kicking out Romney and McCain Republicans) but he is making the entire country darker (inspiring bomb threats in Springfield Ohio because of his false claims that Haitian migrant workers are eating pets, saying that Asians and Africans poison the blood of America, etc).

Voting this November is easy. Cultural changes which pit us against each other (“some groups” are “poisoning the blood of America”, the military should be used against American citizens whom Mr. Trump disagrees with) and away from our usual allies (Ukraine and NATO), and which threaten democracy (inspiring unfounded doubt in our electoral system and in our court system), means any political candidate which doesn’t do these things is better. Harris doesn’t do these things. She has my vote. I call on all Republicans to put Country over Party, as Republican Adam Kinzinger does here.  

Sweet Papa, I know this was long, but I just want to close with this: I will cry for weeks if Mr. Trump is elected. His values are the opposite of mine. I believe in a good world, not a dark world. He is bringing darkness and I abhor the idea of living inside his dark world. I believe I will have children someday, and I want them to live in a world of hope and democracy, one in which no matter what they believe politically, the President will not use violent force against them and in which peaceful transfers of power are once again normalized. Oh, and one in which the Constitution is still revered and political violence is denormalized. 

That’s all. That’s what I want.

I love you.

I Just Finished Pride and Prejudice

I think what I like best about Jane Austen’s romances is the lack of physical contact. By the time you get to the end of the book and Lizzy and Mr. Darcy are violently in love not one kiss has been given, received, or even thought about. They have taken walks. They have talked endlessly through their disagreements, emotions, and desires and have walked back into the happy and messy Bennet house. But they haven’t held hands and Ms. Austen hasn’t shed a single drop of ink on their physical interest in each other.

One of my dear friends once told me she thought women were more rational than men. She couldn’t have been more serious and determined in her claim and I couldn’t have been more quietly skeptical. This, my skepticism, I am now skeptical about. Jane Austen has written some of the greatest romances we know, or at least some of the most culture shaping, and she did it strictly through the emotional and largely intellectual connection of her main characters. That’s an achievement and it seems to point in the direction of my friend’s conclusion: Jane Austen was intensely rational. For her a romance was a connection of minds and souls, hearts and desires, personalities and temperaments, but not bodies.

Or perhaps she was simply living in early-Victorian England where such talk was not allowed.

I don’t know. I do think I’m likely in love with Mr. Darcy though. And Elizabeth would make an inspiring and heart-felt friend. Jane Austen never got married and she wrote, I believe, primarily about love. I think I’m a bit sad about that. She died at 41. I am now not too many years from her death year. I still hope to be married. I still hope to have children. Somehow I am to be lucky while Ms. Austen was not. Dear Ms. Austen, I hope for a love as you describe. Not ultimately lacking physicality, but certainly a deep emotional and intellectual connection. Perhaps I ask too much. It appears Jane Austen did.

How To Do Justice

How to do justice to a new land, an old land, 1,000 pages of history, and a man who brings it all alive?

I give up!

I just returned from England, a land new to me, but yet one of the oldest, I’m nearing the end of a 1,000 page book entitled “The English and their History”, and Jack – my sweet dear beautiful friend Jack – has just emailed me from Changi, Singapore. (The Brits do get around, you know?) He is retracing the steps he took there when he was a young airman in the RAF decades ago – he said he walked probably 10 miles today looking for places he remembered – there’s not much left, save Biggin Hill.

In my book, I just read about Tony Blair. Very recent history. I’m nearing the end.

I’ll end with a photo or two from “the mother country”, England, and the intent to write more.

 

Parlay

Parlay: Turn an initial stake or winnings from a previous bet into (a greater amount) by gambling.

Source: “How the Empire developed after 1815 — primarily as a means to protect British commercial investment and exploitation — and how a small island parlayed an early industrial revolution, supported by large domestic reserves of coal, into one of the largest and most successful empires, commerical, financial and governmental, the world has ever seen, is the primary story of Dawson’s book.

Source of the source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15793661-unfinished-empire

A Train of Consciousness

He’s so pretty. Small but pretty. Every day I see him on the train and wonder if he feels bad about being small.

Leonardo DiCaprio, but far more handsome. That’s what he looks like. Glasses, black rimmed, and relatively introverted.

I have yet been able to tell if he has a ring on his left hand. Probably. He’s sitting across from me, a little off to the right, beyond a metal and air barrier.

He’s got a wonderful blue suit on. Classy snazzy. Someone dresses him well. Maybe him?

The gentleman on my right flips through papers, stapled together in the upper left, and with lines double spaced. The papers sit in an open brief case on his lap. His hair is receding. Professor. English Professor? That’s my guess. Very long lines, his fingers. Looks like a distant cousin of John Cleese.

My right finger hurts. I’m getting old. I can see it curve further towards my middle finger over the months. My real aging, meaning the noticeable kind, started when I was 34. Pretty certain it’s down hill after this. Can we reverse the hill?

The deaf people are below me. They used to throw me off. Because, you see, they make sounds, which they can not hear, while they “talk”. And by talk of course I mean sign. They sign with the greatest animation; they are the same as you and me! A life filled with vibrancy, but no audio. They are all African American.

The wheels squeak. Train stops. I’m supposed to be writing my questions for the new doc I meet tomorrow. A new doc. Never thought I’d say those words. Why do I see so many docs? They just take my money and make me cry and the pain I came in the door with I leave with.

I can see my sneakers stick out over the railing; I’m in the upstairs of the double-decker train, last car, end of a long day at work, the gym, the night is here.

I’m going to go write my questions for the doc. Maybe she will heal me! A far younger version of myself would have thrown a wad of paper at the blue-suited man of perfection. Maybe another day.

Alexander Hamilton, Episode 1

Being a good Chicagoan, I have seen and loved “Alexander Hamilton”, the play. Being a nerd, I have started the book which inspired the play. And being a person of drama, I must rank them: the book wins.

Reading Ron Chernow’s Hamilton is like drinking from a fire hose of good words, none wasted. His lack of waste produces force, weight, power. I am even tired sometimes reading his work, but it is a delirious, happy tired. The West Indies are glowing – I can feel their heat – the colonies are barely formed, fractured, confused, and yet I see current American culture nascent in them, and Hamilton is America: young, passionate, unconventional, loud, calculating, risky, informed, and pulsating with confidence (and a host of bad things which can be left for a later post).

Here are the words that piqued my interest, that I simply didn’t know, or that I had once known and am so happy to remember.

purblind
“Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton–purblind and deaf but gallant to the end–was a stoic woman who never yielded to self-pity.”
– having impaired or defective vision

bombazine, de rigueur, bespoke
“Wrapped in shawls and garbed in the black bombazine dresses that were de rigueur for widows, she wore a starched white ruff and frilly white cap that bespoke a simpler era in American life.
– a twill fabric constructed of a silk or rayon warp and worsted filling, often dyed black for mourning wear.
– required by etiquette or current fashion
– dealing in or producing custom-made articles (especially clothing)

betokened
“The dark eyes that gleamed behind large metal-rimmed glasses–those same dark eyes that had once enchanted a young officer on General George Washington’s staff–betokened a sharp intelligence, a fiercely indomitable spirit, and a memory that refused to surrender the past.”
– to give evidence of

disgorged
“Almost by default, the giant enterprise fell to her fourth son, John Church Hamilton, who belatedly disgorged a seven-volume history of his father’s exploits.”
– to discharge or let go of rapidly or forcefully

hagiographic
“Before this hagiographic tribute was completed, however, Eliza Hamilton died at ninety-seven on November 9, 1854.”
– the writing of the lives of saints; idealizing biography

I’m only to page 4 so I will close with this (from the prologue):

In all probability, Alexander Hamilton is the foremost political figure in American history who never attained the presidency, yet he probably had a much deeper and more lasting impact than many who did. Hamilton was the supreme double threat among the founding fathers, at once thinker and doer, sparkling theoretician and masterful executive… As the first treasury secretary and principal architect of the new government, Hamilton took constitutional principles and infused them with expansive life, turning abstractions into institutional realities. He had a pragmatic mind that minted comprehensive programs. In contriving the smoothly running machinery of a modern nation-state–including a budget system, a funded debt, a tax system, a central bank, a customs service, and a coast guard–and justifying them in some of America’s most influential state papers, he set a high-water mark for administrative competence that has never been equaled. If Jefferson provided the essential poetry of American political discourse, Hamilton established the prose of American statecraft. No other founder articulated such a clear and prescient vision of America’s future political, military, and economic strength or crafted such ingenious mechanisms to bind the nation together.

Books around the Globe and through Time

I can imagine a vacation no better than a world tour of the greatest libraries.

Inspiration: https://www.expedia.com/postcard/posts/23-spectacular-libraries-you-wont-want-to-leave

When I have the time, money, and a companion as nerdy as I, I’ll disappear down those dusty halls. Too bad the Library of Alexandria is no more.  (Turns out that library was dedicated to one definition behind the name of my blog: the Muses.)

 

Puritans and Prigs

I can take no credit for the catchiness of that title. It’s the name of a chapter in “The Death of Adam: Essays on Modern Thought“. It’s written by  Marilynne Robinson published in 1998, and I enjoyed it immensely, at least this chapter (as that’s all I’ve read). This is no post on the things I’ve learned but instead a list of words this author employed that I had to look up. She has quite a vocabulary! (Although I can’t say I’m always a fan of the at least semi-academic style of writing she uses. Any writing that feels academic feels that way because it’s poorly written. And I promise I don’t have strong opinions.)

  1. hypertrophy – 1) abnormal enlargement of a part or organ; excessive growth. 2) excessive growth or accumulation of any kind.
  2. ersatz – (of a product) made or used as a substitute, typically an inferior one, for something else; not real or genuine.
  3. inveigle – persuade (someone) to do something by means of deception or flattery.
  4. palmy – 1) (especially of a previous period of time) flourishing or successful. 2) covered with palms.
  5. lapidary – (of language) engraved on or suitable for engraving on stone and therefore elegant and concise.
  6. solipsism – the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.
  7. steppe – a large area of flat unforested grassland in southeastern Europe or Siberia.
  8. anomie – lack of the usual social or ethical standards in an individual or group.
  9. frisson – a sudden strong feeling of excitement or fear; a thrill.

I can’t imagine how long this list would be if I actually read her whole book, as opposed to one chapter. I hope to read more about her/by her – she felt delightfully curmudgeonly.